


All I Want for Christmas is You

by Yoko_Fujioka



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Engagement, M/M, but everyone probably already knows the answer LOL, kinda-sorta-mystery, merry christmas :), takes place in the future
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-25
Updated: 2015-12-25
Packaged: 2018-05-09 03:43:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5524169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yoko_Fujioka/pseuds/Yoko_Fujioka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You look nice today,” Shintarō tried to start, the words awkward and clumsy in how much it felt like he was just buttering the shorter man up to make up for his carelessness. It really wasn’t a lie, though; Kazunari had obviously made a point of dressing up today, hair clips tying some stray strands above his ear and his clothing fashionable, if a little light, as Shintarō had a good feeling the jumping leg was only half caused by his impatience.</p><p>“...more” Kazunari suddenly mumbled to himself, making Shintarō curious. He didn’t have to wait or ask for him to repeat himself, however, as it seemed Kazunari was murmuring to himself as though he was reciting a mantra.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All I Want for Christmas is You

**Author's Note:**

> Heeey, look who's back!! LOL so I actually started this in August (funny timing I know, but I seem to have started a loT OF STUFF that month) but although I left it as a draft on tumblr because it felt like the timing was too off, I actually remembered it existed and managed to post it on time!! (because I was writing like a madwoman to finish the last 1500 words WWW)
> 
> So~~ If you actually like my writing, good news!! I have a fic to post tomorrow, too, also Christmas-themed but not related to this one!! On the topic of this fic, I'd like to mention that the fic first starts out on Christmas eve (and all subsequent mentions of something happening on Christmas implies "eve", but not particularly night)
> 
> I feel bad, the switching around in time might be confusing?? Advice would be helpful!
> 
> Super big thanks to my beta-reader [Shio](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Himitsu_Uragiri/pseuds/Himitsu_Uragiri) once again!!!

“Look darling, it’s snowing!” a soft voice in the distance coos him awake, long eyelashes fluttering slowly as he rouses into consciousness.

Trying to take in his surroundings, Shintarō found his gaze following the noise that had woken him up, inadvertently spying on a couple not much older than him. The male had his arm wrapped around his girlfriend’s waist from behind as they walked, neck bending so he could whisper something into her ear that made her squeal and slap his arm but then cuddle further into his embrace with a delighted giggle. 

Suddenly realizing how cold it was, Shintarō shivered and curled further into himself, green eyes widening when he realized that he had somehow fallen asleep on the ground on some outside store corner like a homeless person.

Why was he even here? What possible explanation could there be for this?

His head hurt whenever he even tried to think about it, making him wonder if he had a concussion and had managed to drag himself to a safe place before he passed out. Passing out was the worst thing to do in that situation, so he could only hope that wasn’t the case.

At least having a general idea of where he was, he wandered around for a bit, watching all the couples and the bright Christmas lights brightening the store windows as he passed them by.

After a while he began to wonder if it was even worth sticking around just to try and figure out what happened to him. Going home and simmering in his thoughts always did him just fine, so he was about to turn around and head home (hopefully he’d remember where “home” is) when a figure caught his attention.

The funny thing was that his hair was black and his clothes weren’t overly flashy, but he recognized Kazunari at a second’s glance.

And like a flash, Shintarō remembered. He was here for a date, and although he still wasn’t sure what had happened in the time in-between, he had made Kazunari wait for god only knows how long. 

Suddenly feeling guilty, he snuck up behind his boyfriend, surprised that he didn’t just see him with his hawk eye, although he seemed pretty obsessed with looking at his watch.

“You look nice today,” Shintarō tried to start, the words awkward and clumsy in how much it felt like he was just buttering the shorter man up to make up for his carelessness. It really wasn’t a lie, though; Kazunari had obviously made a point of dressing up today, hair clips tying some stray strands above his ear and his clothing fashionable, if a little light, as Shintarō had a good feeling the jumping leg was only half caused by his impatience.

“...more” Kazunari suddenly mumbled to himself, making Shintarō curious. He didn’t have to wait or ask for him to repeat himself, however, as it seemed Kazunari was murmuring to himself as though he was reciting a mantra.

“One more hour. I’ll just wait for him for one more hour” The sitting figure whispered over and over again like he was trying to convince himself of something. 

Shintarō’s confusion only lasted a moment before the memories hit him with the strength and sensation of being struck.  


Perhaps it was all his imagination, but he felt his body fly up in the air like it weighed nothing, the sky suddenly seeming so close he could touch it, before gravity seemed to come back with a vengeance and something cracked in the distance.

*

It was hot enough that it seemed like even the pavement was steaming, but there was a crazy boy, a little older than twenty, walking around in a fall jacket trimmed with fur and dark, skin-tight jeans, as if he was completely unaware of what time of year it even was. 

“What’s wrong with him?” A girl asked her classmate, not being quiet at all, the gaggle of girls even freezing the hands fanning their faces to watch him pass them by until he reached the curb. Then, when he started to cross the street they turned back to where they were heading, laughing at him amongst themselves.

A little boy tugged on his mother’s hand to grab her attention, pointing at Kazunari as he stepped over the opposite curb, the mother merely telling him not to stare and pulling him across the street.

When he made it to the main square where the Christmas tree once stood, Kazunari sat right down on one of the benches close to the middle and settled into a comfortable position. A lot of people were creeped out when they saw him just sitting there, doing nothing, but if they called the police over there was nothing they could really do. A lot of people who frequented the spot were already used to his visits, and just passed without giving him a second glance.

Behind him, Shintarō stood lost in thought, just staring at the loose hairs sticking to the back of Kazunari’s neck in sweaty little swirls.  


He had to get him to realize what was happening, and save the both of them, even if it meant he had to disappear.

*

Christmas was growing close again, yet despite the worsening weather, Kazunari still made the same trip downtown he always did, not even brushing the snow off the bench before he sat down.

Rather than stand behind him, Shintarō sat next to him today. For some reason the split in worlds made it seem like they weren’t supposed to be in the same plane of existence, but if he wasn’t going to be able to see him again, he wanted to make the best of their last moments, even if the other wasn’t aware of it.

**

He finally remembered what had happened to him.

For a while he had seen and heard, even _felt_ little hints, but as soon as they were revealed, he would fall unconscious and wake up on that street corner with no idea of what had happened, and no memory of the pieces given to him.

It wasn’t until he regained a memory of the sensation of dying itself that he started to retain the memories, although they were all things he’d rather forget, at least at first.

Shintarō had gone to work in the early morning so that he could get out by the afternoon for their Christmas date, although he had one last errand to run before he met up with Kazunari. It turned out the engagement ring he had bought was much too small for Kazunari’s finger, his own fault for not just bringing him to the jeweler's since everyone knew he was going to propose at some point anyway. It was a small mishap, easily fixed by going back to the shop with his fiancé’s measurements so that he could wear the ring for the first time today.

Maybe today, a couple's holiday, would have been a better atmosphere for a romantic proposal, but since he had gone and dropped the question on Kazunari’s birthday instead, just because the atmosphere felt right, he couldn’t very well beat himself up about things he couldn’t change.

He would’ve allowed himself a sarcastic laugh if he had died on the way to meet Kazunari, one of those “if only he hadn’t taken that detour” sort of movie endings that he had seen make Kazunari cry at least once.

No, he had waited in line and been a little late, admittedly, but had gotten to the large Christmas tree where Kazunari was waiting without incident. The ravenette gave him a big hug when he arrived that was only outdone by the big, accidentally sort of sloppy kiss he had rushed to give his husband-to-be when Shintarō had taken his hand without word, raising it to eye-level before sliding the newly fitted ring right onto his ungloved hand. 

Shintarō looked him right in the eye as he did it, just like he had planned to on their wedding day, watching in amusement as Kazunari’s eyes flickered between the ring and his eyes as if he had never seen the object before and this was all some big surprise to him.

“Sometimes I feel like I must be dreaming to think we’re getting married” Kazunari explained himself when he noticed the amusement in Shintarō’s eyes, pulling away from the kiss so that their noses were nearly touching and Shintarō felt the vibrations rather than heard the words.

They already had dinner and desert bought and lying in wait in the fridge for their return, so at least they didn’t have to rush through the restaurant crowds, but then why did Kazunari want to meet in town rather than stay at home and do something relaxed like they had for both their birthdays this year?

Kazunari might’ve never had a plan, Shintarō wasn’t the type to question his motivations, but it was admittedly fun just walking around town, the streetlights dimmed or turned off entirely in some places so that the fairy light twisted in the empty tree branches could really stand out and shine.

It had been a fairly cold year but when it started to snow Kazunari just looked even happier, rather than requesting they go inside. 

“The snow looks kinda magical like this” Kazunari laughed when they both just paused to look up at the sky, the lights not reaching that far but still giving the fluffy flakes an orange hue that indeed made them look like faeries.

It was when they were crossing one of the more suburban streets when everything spun out of control. Takao saw the car first, his hand instinctively tighten-ing in Shintarō’s, but the car was so quickly spinning out of control, after hitting a patch of black ice most likely, that there was little either could do to react before it hit them at full speed and force. 

Since the two of them were standing side by side as they walked, Shintarō was the closest and got the brunt of the hit, and that was where the dreams of flying came from. He went a good twenty feet or so up in the air, and couldn’t really discern whether he had died before or after he hit the pavement. 

Maybe it was merely a dream, then, but Shintarō had pleasant final memories of being cradled in Kazunari’s arms, the wet pavement freezing cold but his fiancé's warm arms and comforting scent so soothing he died feeling like he was at home.

**

Two years have passed since he died, and he has watched Kazunari the whole time.

Watched the way he deluded himself into believing his fiancé wasn’t dead.

The way he always tried to meet up with him back at their spot.

The way he sat in their dark apartment for months, just staring at the walls, not even crying anymore, just looking lost.

The way he barely remembered to eat unless someone forced him.

The way he pushed all their family and friends away when they tried to help.

But then….

The way his mother-in-law brought life back into him, always dropping by and making sure he was taking good care of himself, even making him laugh again.

The way his sister just dropped off a kitten out of the blue saying she needed to get rid of it, but probably planned for it to give him  
something to take care of again. Something that relied on him too much for him to commit suicide.

The gratitude on his face when neighbors dropped by food or goods they didn’t need anymore but he might need.

The way he changed after he started going for counselling sessions.

How he would catch himself staring into space and immediately start doing something productive to take his mind off whatever he was thinking about.

When he started cracking a smile, and then even laughing at movies again.

Those days where he stopped going downtown whenever he felt lost.

The way he slowly let people back into his life again, letting them help him until he slowly began returning to his usual self.

*

Feeling something warm come over him again, Shintarō laid his palm over Kazunari’s hand, softly moving them back and forth against each other in a sort of petting motion before he interlaced their fingers together.

Moving as mindlessly as one might upon feeling an itch, Kazunari’s other hand suddenly moved on top of his, Shintarō staring at it with wide open eyes. The other had never seemed aware of his presence, so for it to happen at the very last minute…was this a last-ditch effort by some cruel god?

Rubbing his engagement ring absentmindedly, Kazunari smiled up at the sky happily. No snow was falling despite the chill, but somehow, he felt a warm, familiar presence beside him that somehow put him at ease. He didn’t know exactly what was going on, but he wasn’t going to let this farewell be silent.

“Have a nice trip” He mumbled to himself with a warm smile, eyes misty and almost closed, so it almost looked like the hexagonal lens effects in the sky were moving and bouncing in response.

“I will”

**Author's Note:**

> "You wouldn't write soul-wrenching angst where my children get hurt on CHRISTMAS, would you?" my friend messages me. I laugh alone in a dark room, purposefully not responding so as not to give anything away.
> 
> LOL so happy thoughts and "merry Christmas :)" i hope that tag makes sense now LOL
> 
> (man I would so enter a contest for "meanest fanfict title" with this one...well, it fits, they just wanted to be together but couldn't!! LOL)
> 
> This was meant to just be crushing angst, but my old heart has softened some so the ending is quite happy. Also according to my notes, the part with Shin-chan watching Kazunari's daily life (without remember how or that he died from day to day) was supposed to take up nearly the entirety of the fic, but I couldn't quite figure out how I even intended to write it!
> 
> That having been said, this fic is SUPER to the point because that's just the way I talk, bluntly, but I'd LOVE if someone would write a long, slow-burn sort of mystery fic with this vague idea!! Uuuuugggggghhh writer's bigger dream ; A ;
> 
> Reviews would be so so wonderful as always!! ♡♡♡


End file.
